Sophie

Shortly after birth Dexter exhibited clear signs of resipiratory distress. We urgently raised our concerns but his care was met with disregard and neglect. Dexter’s condition continued to worsen, progressing from respiratory distress to chest recession, tracheal tugging, and a profound struggle for breath.

Exhausted, emotionally devastated, physically unwell, and with further

haemorrhaging, I eventually fell asleep at around 3:30am.

About an hour later, I was woken urgently and told: “They want to see you on neonatal. Can you call your husband?” I frantically asked what was wrong and if Dexter was okay, but no one would answer. When I arrived on the unit, panicked and shrieking, a doctor informed me “No. He is not okay. Dexter’s died.”

OUR CONCERNS AS PARENTS WERE REPEATEDLY IGNORED. OUR PLEAS FOR HELP DISMISSED, AND THE DUTY OF CARE

But in reality, he had not yet died.

I was then updated whilst holding him. Dexter had maintained a faint

pulse when he was placed in my arms, he was pronounced dead some five minutes later. His father arrived shortly after. Had he been allowed to be present throughout the night, he would not have missed those precious last moments with his son.

Then came the January 2024 Supreme Court ruling: the NHS owes no duty to “secondary victims.” That meant myself and my husband. The message was clear, both of us were instantly erased by law. We fought for truth, not money, because every other complaint had failed us.

As grieving parents who broke the heart of a big brother, we live in the continued wake of the Trust’s neglect and devastation.

My career ended the same day Dexter died. While our lives came to a halt, the world continued on, and I found myself unable to function, unanswered questions, shock still being absorbed, hope remaining that this was all not real somehow.

Dexter's father, expected to return to work after two weeks paternity leave as if nothing had happened, took further sickness absence. I returned to work, and soon after moved into a different career to that which I had qualified and worked toward, no longer the person I used to be. I still remain on the verge of falling apart at any moment, fear I won’t be able to support my family and it is so very exhausting.

Families will be left broken, with solicitors unwilling to take cases without recoverable costs.

OUR AIM IS FOR SUPPORT TO BE PROVIDED FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED SEVERE PSYCHOLOGICAL HARM, SO WE ARE EMPOWERED TO CARE FOR OUR FAMILIES AND BE ALLOWED PROPERLY TO PROCESS GRIEF, EVEN POTENTIALLY HAVING THE ABILITY TO LOOK AFTER OURSELVES.

The cost to the NHS must be vast attributed to the neglect of Dexter alone, and at the cost of parental physical and mental wellbeing. Individual lives harmed permanently. PTSD, severe depression, medication for life, counselling, even just some of the physical presentations I personally have experienced of psychiatric injury, chronic pain conditions, constant hyper-vigilance, stress hormones, lethargy, muscle tension, stomach problems, dizziness, forgetfulness, brain fog, social distancing, isolations, suicidal ideology. Insomnia, which in itself brings a large impacting cost to the NHS.

Addressing trauma and recognising the value of each lost child beyond their medical history is fundamental to achieving meaningful change. Sadly, we are not those people we used to be and in any provision of support, whatever it looks like, we feel it must consider the security to parents in that right to recover.

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Sophie

OUR CONCERNS AS PARENTS WERE REPEATEDLY IGNORED. OUR PLEAS FOR HELP DISMISSED, AND THE DUTY OF CARE

But in reality, he had not yet died.

Families will be left broken, with solicitors unwilling to take cases without recoverable costs.

OUR AIM IS FOR SUPPORT TO BE PROVIDED FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED SEVERE PSYCHOLOGICAL HARM, SO WE ARE EMPOWERED TO CARE FOR OUR FAMILIES AND BE ALLOWED PROPERLY TO PROCESS GRIEF, EVEN POTENTIALLY HAVING THE ABILITY TO LOOK AFTER OURSELVES.

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