Bianca & Chris
I was 25 weeks pregnant with Imiza when I started severely bleeding. I went to the hospital multiple times and was told I had placenta previa. Imiza’s heart rate kept dipping. I was lead to believe the midwives and doctors knew how to deal with the situation.
I had a huge bleed in hospital. A junior doctor said I needed an emergency caesarean at 28+6 weeks. More than 40 minutes later I was taken to theatre.
Chris arrived and was handed a set of gowns. I remember saying goodbye to my Nannie: “we will see you as a 3, next time, Nannie”. This was not the case for us.
”I WAS NEVER TRULY SAT DOWN AND TOLD WHAT THE WORSE OUTCOME COULD BE FOR MEORMY DAUGHTEr”
I had an emergency caesarean. I felt like someone was stamping on my chest and I told Chris I couldn’t breathe. It was a pain I had never felt before and never want to feel again.
Imiza was born and everything started to become a blur. She wasn’t crying and we didn’t understand what was going on. All day we were told Imiza needed help breathing but lead to believe everything was under control but yet I was still not allowed to meet my little girl. We were told we couldn’t go to NICU because of a police indecent but everything was okay.
Later on, we were told Imiza needed to be transferred to another hospital but that this was normal for her gestation. I was allowed to see her and was overwhelmed by the machinery around her, but wasn’t told anything alarming was going on.
“ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SEE MY LITTLE GIRL AND HOLD HE”
2 hours after Imiza was transferred I got a call from NICU. They spoke to my midwife and told me I was going to be transferred to be with Imiza. Chris and I were led to believe she would be okay - he was going to spend the night at home - but stayed because I had a panic attack.
I didn’t get to see Imiza again until the next morning, which is the first that something bad was happening. Her organs were shutting down and she had a bleed on the left side of her brain. From that point onwards it was a matter of getting our family there who wanted to meet her, to meet her and say goodbye.
On 6th December we was put into a family room and Imiza’s life support was removed. She passed away on my chest at 12.30pm and we were only allowed 3 hours with her. They tried to send me back to the maternity ward - I couldn’t be around live babies and new mums when I was thinking about my baby’s funeral. There was no bereavement room or cuddle cot. My partner went up to clear our things out of the room on the maternity ward.
“NEITHER OF US HAVE HAD ANY MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT. NO THERAPY. NOTHING. WE’VE BEEN REFUSED IT.”
We’ve since had a rainbow baby. Her sister picked a grave plot out for her when I was pregnant in case she died. Things like this is what people don’t think of or can imagine unless you have walked in a bereaved parents shoes. It’s a rippling effect that affects so many in a family.
Something needs to change to help all bereaved parents.